Friday, March 27, 2009

New Hampshire Woman Arrested For Picking Up Dog Feces Without Any Pants On


Portsmouth, NH- Police arrested a city woman on a charge of indecent exposure alleging she was collecting dog feces while naked from the waist down. Susan Bell, 42, of 76 Manor Drive, was arrested Thursday after turning herself in on a warrant for the misdemeanor charge, said Police Sgt. Darrin Sargent. The charge alleges that on Feb. 28 at 6:20 a.m., Bell was pantless while picking up dog feces in a Manor Drive courtyard. Following her arrest, Bell was released on her own recognizance and she has not yet been scheduled for an arraignment.


Listen, if this happened in any other state you wouldnt hear a peep out of me. But this is New Hampshire. Call me old fashioned, but I actually believed in their motto "Live Free or Die." Unfortunately for Susan Bell, she believed in their slogan as well. All she wanted to do was pick up dog shit without any pants on. Who are we to judge her on that? Are we really going to hold it against this lady because she obviously paid attention to her teacher in 4th grade when they were going over state mottos? Is that the lesson we are trying to teach our children?

New Hampshire needs to wise up. I am offering my legal services to Susan Bell, free of charge. Even though I was a 7 year phys ed major, my legal experience has been impressive. In 9th grade American History I was the lead prosecutor that convicted the Rosenburgs in our mock trial. We fried those bastards. Unless you want me as a defense attorney for Susan Bell, I demand you drop these charges immedietely!

h/t barstoolsports

1 comment:

  1. Her father is a lawyer, and she has legal services thru nh legal services and no I will not drop the charges. She did not grow up in NH she is from lowell MA.

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