Friday, October 2, 2009

Steve Schmidt Meet George Costanza

There came a point in George Costanzas life when he realized that every instinct he ever had was wrong. This is the world in which Steve Schmidt currently lives. Lets take a look at the tale of the tape.

Costanza- Bald

Schmidt- Bald

Costanza- Unemployed

Schmidt- Unemployed

Doesnt understand
Costanza- the Penske File

Schmidt- Math

Brilliant Ideas
Costanza- cotton baseball uniforms

Schmidt- suspending a campaign

Architect of
Costanza- Vandalay Industries

Schmidt- 5 losing campaigns

Blames his shortcomings on

Costanza- the pool

Schmidt- Sarah Palin

Holds the record for

Costanza- the game of frogger at Marios Pizza

Schmidt- anonymous leaks to left wing media

Once declared

Costanza- the "summer of George" (ended up paralyzed)

Schmidt- a Palin nomination "catastrophic" (ended up a jackass)

So it's safe to say that any and all advice from Steve Schmidt should be given the Costanza treatment for the foreseeable future. Which means whatever advice he gives, do the exact opposite.

UPDATE- Check out Texas4Palin for a photo of what Steve Schmidt has in store for himself come Nov. 17

Thursday, September 10, 2009

How Dare You!!

This country fell to a new low last night when a mere Congressman spoke in defiance of Dear Leader. Yes of course this has happened in the past when a Republican president was speaking before congress, but that President was not Dear Leader. You see there are two very simple rules that come into play when you are so honored to be able to sit and listen to Dear Leader.

1) No backtalk, defiance, or disagreements with Dear Leader... for he is Dear Leader.

2) Always follow rule #1

What made last nights situation even worse was this peasant Congressman called Dear Leader a liar (his words, not mine Dear Leader) just as Dear Leader had finished calling Sarah Palin a liar. There is only person who is allowed to call people liars, get a standing ovation from his political party, and not be asked to apologize, and that is Dear Leader. How dare you Joe Wilson!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

In Case You Forgot Why Republicans Had No Chance In The '08 Election

So Obama stood in front of the country and again campaigned by promising everything to everybody. He's going to magically cover tens of millions of new people without it costing us a cent. The big story coming out of tonights speech though is that Congressman Joe Wilson called him out as a liar when Obama said his plan would not cover illegal aliens. Whether you think it was right or not for him to do this, lets look at the claim. As Hot Air points out

CRS also notes that “undocumented aliens” who have a “substantial presence” in the US would be required to buy health insurance (page 4) through the exchanges in HR3200. They would also become eligible for “emergency Medicaid,” although not normal Medicaid (page 6) for up to five years.

So Obama was in fact lying. Wilson called Obama a liar literally 30 seconds after Obama had finished saying that Palin was lying (using the exact same word as Wilson, "lie") about "death panels."

Now take a guess at what John McCain did right after the speech finished? Did he:
A) call on Obama to apologize for calling Palin a liar
B) call on Wilson to apologize for calling Obama a liar
C) call on both Wilson and Obama to apologize for calling people liars

If you guessed B you were paying attention during the campaign and know exactly why Republicans didnt have a prayer. His own former running mate is trashed by his former opponent and he is silent. His former opponent is trashed and he speaks out IMMEDIATELY in his defense.

Monday, September 7, 2009


Finally! It's about damn time already!

That's all I've heard from the liberal pundits regarding President Wee-Weed drafting his own version of a health care bill.

I'm a bit perplexed that the discussion has been: "Will this help?" "Has he already lost the message and can he get it back?" Or "Will anyone tune in to hear him on the tv...again?"

Yet, no one is asking the most pertinent question: Does President Wsquared even have the legal authority to create his own bil?

No. Possibly a Chris Tucker heeeeeellll no. Perhaps a Whitney Houston "hell to the naw!" Then again I'm a strict constructionalist so de facto, I'm can't possibly have an argument here, right?

Art. I of the Constitution says, "All legislative powers herein granted shall be vested in Congress"...

So I guess the word "all" is vague and when they said it was to be "vested in Congress" that kinda/sorta/maybe meant Congress but maybe only every other leap year that ends in the number two. All other years, yeah, just make shit up.

But if someone can make the case that he does have the authority, feel free, explain. I know he's involved in the legislative process up to a point--I mean we all saw West Wing until Sorkin went apeshit on peyote, right? Deals are brokered. The executive branch does have a say, but how much? An entire bill's worth of say? I think it's an awfully big leap.

But let's assume for the sake of argument he does have the authority. I find it interesting that this President, who spent so much time railing against "George Bush" (despite what the nutroots think--he earned the title of President--try using it. Ass. But I digress...) for issuing signing statements, is applauded for drafting his own bill.

Signing statements are a controversial procedural tool, implemented first during the Reagan years to circumvent the legislative process as they are only added after Congressional debate has ended. They allow a President to approve of specific sections of a bill that's already drafted. The President can then modify those section to which he disagrees.

So what does President Wsquared think about these?

Let's visit a fun clip from the campaign trail back in May of 2008.

Questioner: When Congress offers you a bill, do you promise not to use presidential signage to get your way?

Obama: Yes...We've got a government designed by the founders so that there'd be checks and balances. We don't want a President too powerful, a Congress too powerful, or a court too powerful. Everybody's got their own role. Congresses' role is to pass legislation. The President can veto it or sign it. But what George Bush has been trying to do is part of his effort to accummulate more power in the presidency, he's been saying, well I can change what Congress passed by attaching a letter saying I don't agree with this part or that part. I'm going to choose to interpet it this way or that way. Ugh, that's not part of his power. But this part of the whole theory of George Bush--that he can make laws as he's going along. Ugh, I disagree with that. I taught the Constitution for ten years. I believe in the Constitution and I will obey the Constitution of the United States. We're not going to use signing statements as an end-run around Congress. Alright."

So to recap: signing statements used during GWB's two terms in office--bad--very bad. I'm like a constitutional scholar and stuff-so I should know, Wee Weed says. (Note: he's already backtracked on the signing statement issue himself by issuing five already since taking office).

But drafting entire legislation from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, eh, I had to!! I prefer to keep a light touch, but you people just don't know what's good for you already? Andrea Mitchell agrees with me on that point!!

If signing statements are an end-run around Congress, what the hell is drafting an entire health care bill?

I'll put MSNBC on that task. They spent the better part of the last eight years patting themselves on the back as constitutional scholars. Keith Olbermann, I'm sure has a special comment or two on the dangers of imperialistic Presidents.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Just To Be Clear

The Obama justice department will drop charges against the Black Panthers that intimidated American citizens at polling places, but will investigate CIA interrogators that intimidated Al Qaeda terrorists??? I guess when you're the President of the United States, with an overwhelming majority in the House and Senate and you're getting your ass kicked on health care by a lady with a facebook account you'll do anything to change the subject, including damaging this countries national security.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Saturday, August 22, 2009

This lady will give you nightmares

There has never been a person on earth who has deserved to have their breath stolen by a cat more than this lady. Was anybody else rooting for that tiger to come alive and bite her hand off???

In all seriousness, how much would you have to be paid to spend a night in the same house with this lady? If you make it out of there without being cooked and eaten, chalk it up as a win.