News From 2012

The New York Times

October 10, 2012

Jobs Numbers Better Than Forecasted

Washington D.C - Is President Obamas economic policy starting to work? If the latest job numbers are any indication, Yes. It. Is. The numbers just released this morning showed that Gary Thompson was still employed. You might recall that Mr. Thompson is the last man in America who currently holds a job. This is seen as a major boost to Mr. Obamas reelection hopes next month.

"I think this shows that the stimulus bill is really starting to pay off," said Harvard economist Chip Smith. "I don't know of any economist that predicted Mr. Thompson would still be employed. You really have to credit the Obama Administration for the foresite that this bill had."

Republican Presidential nominee Sarah Palin lashed out viciously during a morning rally. "The latest job numbers prove that the massive government spending has not worked. It's time for a change."

But is it really? "A change at this particular time could be disasterous for the economy. What the jobs market needs right now is stability," said White House spokesman Steve Schmidt. Many respected economists echoed Mr. Schmidts statement. "It's completely foolish for Ms. Palin to go around criticizing President Obama on the economy when Mr. Thompson still has a job. You really have to question her sanity," said Cornell economist William Johnson.

Most economists pointed to Mr. Obamas unflappable demeanor under pressure as a major reason for Mr. Thompsons saved job. That, and his Egypt speech.