The Barack Obama Scholarship

The other day we brought you Barack Obamas rejection letter from Arizona State. Due to the controversy from not awarding Obama an honorary degree, the University has set up a group of scholarship students known as "President Barack Obama Scholars." This blog has obtained the application for that group.

1) Describe your favorite state (you may choose any of the 57)

2) How many teleprompters will you be keeping on campus? (minimum 4)

3) If an ASU student is taken hostage by pirates, you will:

A) Talk about the housing situation on campus
B) Buy a new dog
C) Order a pizza from 800 miles away
D) All of the above

4) Do you currently have an Aunt living illegally in an ASU dorm room?

5) After your first semester at ASU, will you promise to have increased our deficit by 1 trillion dollars?

6) How many "former" terrorists have you associated yourself with? ( 1 required, 3 preferred)

7) How many times will you apologize to the University of Arizona for beating them twice in basketball this past season? (minimum 4, prefereably with tears)

8) List your accomplishments in life (hint- if these accomplishments exceed one tweet on twitter, you are disqualified)

We will be releasing the names of the applicants to the media. Whoever receives the most adoring press coverage will be awarded this prestigious scholarship. Thank you for applying.

Arizona State