Best. Picture. Ever

I love this picture on so many levels. First, it's badass in every sense of the word. I mean what sends a stronger signal to our enemies, a lady who is comfortable sitting on a bear or a guy who bows to the Saudi King while staring at his junk.

Second, this picture is going to shine a light on all the pussies in this country once again. They will whine about the killing of animals blah, blah, blah. It's weird but liberals want to be nice to everything that would kill you in the blink of an eye (bears, wolves, terrorists) but actually donate time and money to kill unborn babies.

Listen liberals, I'm going to fill you in on something that might just save your life. Bears do not like you. In fact, they hate you. Just ask Grizzly Man. He was your ultimate liberal. He loved the bears. He gave them names and talked to them. They were his best friend...right up until the point that they ate him.

photo h/t Politico

Clip Of The Day

From Monday nights episode of 24. I'm not gonna lie, I was enchanted with this scene more than Obama is with the military. By the way, what the hell is up with that. Enchanted with the military? I think you can actually be banned from the military for even using the word enchanted.

The answer sucked but what about the question. The NY Times is a joke. If the government bails them out I'm joining that superhero group in Cincinnati and putting an end to that.

Smooth Move Ex-Lax

Outstanding.

The Bidenator strikes again!

Appearing on the Today Show with Matt Lauer, our guy decided that he knows better than anyone in the CDC: Basically if you live in a big city and don’t own your own car, yeah, according to Joey, just stay home. Don’t take a train, a plane, and automobile, eh, fine I suppose. Just make sure you go to a field and if you’re 50 miles from one than sneezes, you’re golden. Anyone else, hit the panic button! (Sound nonsensical??—yeah read this quote below—it won’t be anymore clear after reading it though. Don’t say I didn't warn you!). I don’t know; let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he didn't think the impact of this statement would really be that big of a deal. After all, a good portion of his voting block is unemployed by choice and not leaving the house anyway.

His words:

“I would tell members of my family — and I have — I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now,” Biden said on NBC’s “Today” show.. “It’s not that it’s going to Mexico. It’s [that] you’re in a confined aircraft. When one person sneezes, it goes all the way through the aircraft. That’s me. … “So, from my perspective, what it relates to is mitigation. If you’re out in the middle of a field when someone sneezes,
that’s one thing. If you’re in a closed aircraft or closed container or closed
car or closed classroom, it’s a different thing.”

I think Obama is ready to ship Joey off to Mexico City at this point. For once, I almost agree with him on something.

What does Carlos Slim have to say about this?

Feeling enchanted today?

Jeff Zeleny of the New York Times (of course!) actually asked what enchanted Obama most from serving in office. Hey Zeleny, you left your "p word" back at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Your panties of course! Sheesh, what did you think I was referring to?!

Sweet Fancy Moses! This is our press in the year 2009? Dennis Miller was right: it's a weird moment when you realize Miss California has had tougher questions than our Telepromter-In-Chief.

Did you watch the love-fest? Could you stomach watching the perfectly orchestrated Q&A he passed off as some type of press conference? Like the other five thousand times he's injected himself in front of a tv, I refused to watch. I in fact just turned on Fox just to give them the ratings. I was pretty damn proud they gave the middle finger to yet another "press conference" of his High Holiness.

I guess we should at least be happy that he called on the major papers (suck as they might) this time instead of Ebony magazine.

Things I'm not enchanted by with this administration:

• Telepromters
• Tiny Dancer Emmanuel
• Michelle's arms
• Gibbs (Robert, not Barry.)
• The Patriot Biden
• Bo (no dog should get more press than lunatic hate mongering preachers of the President)

I'm spent. I'm going to need meds if I continue this list. Someone else take it from here.....

Princess Nancy making President Paintywaist proud...

Fancy Nancy, awww sweetie, you're just precious. Precious!

Especially when you make such intelligent statements like this one in regards to the 60 member Democratic Senate caucus you're most likely looking at:

"Very exciting, very exciting for the American people, because now we can get things done without explaining process," Pelosi told CNN's Candy Crowley.

See hun, it's actually sort of expected that we understand the process. After all, botulism filled turds like you work for us. We employ you. And unfortunately the imbeciles out in San Fran don't quite comprehend that it's an at-will relationship.

When you make such absurd remarks it's sort of hard to take this seriously.....

XOXO,

Lauren

PS... Get bent.

Clip Of The Day

Nobody has ever made me want to move to a city more than Shadow Hare has made me want to move to Cincinnati. First of all, any city with a superhero is pretty much immune to the swine flu. Second, the super hero in the fluorescent yellow suit is the most punchable person in America. I want to punch him so bad I can taste it. Third, I've always wanted to date a female superhero, and that chick looks pretty hot.

The downside to moving there is that they all seem crazy enough to eat you. But there are pros and cons to every city I guess.

Addition By Subtraction: The Arlen Specter Story

The media now has one less Republican to call when they need a quote to bash a conservative. Make no mistake about it, that is why the media loves "moderate" Republicans. It is why they are going to write articles the next few days which say that Specter defecting proves the Republican party is decaying. They will quote the usual suspects (Snowe, Collins, Frum, and other "moderates") which will be begging the Republican party to purge itself of the conservatives and become a big tent. They will write these articles not because they care about the Republican party, but because a party full of moderates is a rubber stamp for Obama.

To be honest, I have much more repect for liberals than I do for "moderates." Atleast liberals believe in something. The moderates that the media glorify so much are just simply sell outs. They believe in nothing more than that days opinion poll. The biggest surprise of the day wasn't that Specter joined the Democrats, but that he admitted it was completely due to the fact he was down in the primary polls. What bold conviction this man has.

The loss of Specter is not the sign of a shrinking GOP. Specter and the other "moderates" were the cause of the shrinking in the first place. There has not been an alternative given at the ballot box in many parts of the country for some time. The argument made by Frum and others that the GOP needs to abandon it's principles in order to grow just doesn't make sense. If the Republican party embraces a Senator, like Specter, who votes for an insanely irresponsible stimulus package, why even have a second party?

In order to grow, the Republican party has to give voters a clear choice. Unfortunately, over the last decade they have listened to the likes of Frum and Specter. We are not in this economic crisis right now because we were too fiscally conservative. It is liberal spending policies which have put us here. It just so happens that there were many people with (R)s next to their name that were voting for this spending right along with Democrats.

It might take some time for conservatives to make a comeback, but we have history on our side. Liberalism and socialism never succeed. We will be given a chance again as long as we give voters a clear alternative. In this last election, it was hard to pin the Democrats as big spenders. Why? Because Republicans had spent just as much. We listened to the David Frums and ran candidates, no matter what their philosophy, as long as they had an (R) next to their name. If this country is going to spend it's way into a disaster, we need to make sure there are not any conservative fingerprints on it. Then we will be trusted at the ballot box again. In this case, Specters defection is clearly addition by subtraction.

Comedy Gold

That teleprompter is hilarious. This, once again, should be the end of the "Obama is so smart" line. Look at how brilliant he sounds, and then all of a sudden the teleprompter breaks down, and he looks as frightened as a Mexican staring at a pig with the flu.

Chavez? Gnarly!

Just because you have a megaphone—doesn’t mean you should use it. Case in point, Sean Penn. In case you missed it, he posted some incoherent diatribe over on the Huff & Puff. Newsbusters breaks down just how unintentionally funny it is (it's so grammatically incorrect, apparently he channeled his inner-Spicoli for this one.)

Brace yourselves. It's three paragraphs of "watchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?". Yeah, it's really that bad. Can someone please translate this gem for me:

"Then there's Newt Gingrich, who commented on the Chavez greeting as being approached wrong."

You can argue I took this out of context. But then you'd assume there was a context.

Quite honestly, I wouldn't even bother reading this piece if I were you. It’s a par for the course rant for an overpaid sub-par human being. He boils it down to smiles. If we just smile at Chavez, he'll play nice. That was basically the gist. I guess this theory makes sense when you work in an industry where people inject Botox in the palms of their hands so they won't have sweaty hands on the red carpet.

As for the poor grammar, that doesn't bother me, especially from a Hollytart like Penn. I have extremely low expectations from these folks. It's like expecting Lord Uhhh to sound cogent off prompter--outcome not so good. Both of these men have several things in common, namely, that they are both at their "best" when they adhere to a script written by someone else.

Gone Gray?

Lord Uhh's first 100 days are up. Who needs this? Ladies, I didn't forget you!

I so desperately wanedt to do a comprehensive post on this. Unfortunately (or fortunately--it would have been a lot of work!), the fine folks at the New York Post took it upon themselves to point out the the First 100 days, 100 mistakes. It's a fantastic (but long) read. Please try to read it in its entirety when you get time. If anything, it's a good reminder how it could be on like Donkey Kong in 2010 if conservatives capitalize on this administration's complete incompetence. I'm going to post my favorites in this list. Why? Well it's my thread, damn it.

2. "There is no doubt that we've been living beyond our means and we're going to have to make some adjustments." -- Obama during the campaign.

3. This year's budget deficit: $1.5 trillion.

4. Asks his Cabinet to cut costs in their departments by $100 million -- a whopping .0027%!

6. "Mr. Obama is an accomplished orator but is becoming known in America as the 'teleprompt president' over his reliance on the machine when he gives a speech." -- Sky News, 3/18

8. Nancy Killefer, #29 Bill Richardson, #30. Timothy Geithner, #31 Annette Nazareth, #32 Caroline Atkinson, # 55, Tom Daschle, #78. Adolfo Carrion

13. Nicaragua's Daniel Ortega went on a 50-minute anti-American rant, calling Obama "president of an empire." Obama didn't leave the room. "I thought it was 50 minutes long. That's what I thought," he said.

16. "After pushing Congress for weeks to hurry up and pass the massive $787 billion stimulus bill, President Obama promptly took off for a three-day holiday getaway." -- New York Post, 2/15

17. I won
24. Rasmussen finds 58% of Americans believe the Obama administration's release of CIA memos endangers the national security of the United States.

28. In their first meeting, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown gave Obama a carved ornamental penholder from the timbers of the anti-slavery ship HMS Gannet. Obama gave him 25 DVDs that don't work in Europe. And in the same vein, #92. Giving the Queen of England an iPod full of his own speeches.

34. Obama's doom-and-gloom comments and budget bill push the Dow below 7,000, from which it's only recently recovered.

35. "You're sitting here. And you're -- you are laughing. You are laughing about some of these problems. Are people going to look at this and say, 'I mean, he's sitting there just making jokes about money--' How do you deal with -- I mean: Explain. Are you punch-drunk?" -- Steve Kroft, "60 Minutes," 3/22

39. "I've been practicing bowling. I bowled a 129. It was like the Special Olympics or something." -- Obama on "The Tonight Show" (for me, this one still stings too much. Uhh: no class, all ass)

50. "It wasn't a bow. He grasped his hand with two hands, and he's taller than King Abdullah." -- An Obama aide

54. After saying he wouldn't have lobbyists in his administration, Obama made 17 exceptions in the first two weeks in office.

56. For an April 14 speech at Georgetown, the administration asked the university to cover up all signs and symbols -- including the letters "IHS" in gold, a symbol for Jesus. (because when I'm not walking on water Michelle and I like to drop it like it's hot).

59. Firing Rick Wagoner as president of GM, 60. Threatening to fire Vikram Pandit as CEO of Citigroup. , 61. Threatening to fire anyone the administration doesn't like from any company (for those that think 61 is hyperbole, just wait, watch, and learn).

65. "Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards." -- Attorney General Eric Holder

70. "By any measure, my administration has inherited a fiscal disaster." -- Obama (confused by this one. After all, it’s the Dems that just loooove the estate tax right? I thought they liked to "inherit". ???)

74. "And I believe the nation that invented the automobile cannot walk away from it." -- Obama during his first State Of The Union address. A German invented the automobile.

80. Forced banks that didn't want TARP money to take it, then added on stipulations about pay and government control after the fact. Secretly forced Bank of America to buy Merrill Lynch, then allowed the bank to be criticized for overpaying.

83. "In America, there is a failure to appreciate Europe's leading role in the world. Instead of celebrating your dynamic union and seeking to partner with you to meet common challenges, there have been times where America has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive." -- Obama in Strasbourg, France (translation: my BFF and consigliere Rev. Wrongturn wrote part of this speech for me).

84. Joe Biden
85. Joe Biden
86. Joe Biden, You know, I'm embarrassed. Do you know the Web site number? I should have it in front of me and I don't. I'm actually embarrassed."

93. Three prime-time briefings in his first 100 days, eating into television revenues and this Wednesday pre-empting "American Idol." (for the record I could give a flying Fig Newton about American Idol but the point is made. And the point is this: unhinged arrogance to the nth degree.)

98. "Education Secretary Arne Duncan has decided not to admit any new students to the D.C. voucher program, which allows low-income children to attend private schools ... For all the talk about putting children first, it's clear that the special interests that have long opposed vouchers are getting their way." -- Washington Post, 4/11 (for me, this is as low as it gets, especially when his own childlren are in private school).

100. "Don't think we're not keeping score, brother." -- Obama to Rep. Peter DeFazio, after the Democratic congressman voted against the stimulus bill. (Change. Hope. Hopeandchange. We are the ones we've been waiting for!!)

Because I believe that most everything in life can be likened to Caddyshack, in a perfect world, I would be Judge Smails in this clip and Obama would be Spaulding. At same point someone will have to say "no" to him, right?

And scene!

XOXO,

Lacey Underall

Clip Of The Day

h/t hotair

Administration Profile: Rahm Emanuel

With the NFL Draft right around the corner I'm getting a little tired of reading about college players. So The Conservative Comeback will break down the Obama Cabinet right up up until draft time

Name- Rahm Emanuel

Claim to fame- White House Chief of Staff

Secret Service Name- Princess

Likes- A financial crisis, Bette Midler, shopping for shoes, people who don't pay their taxes, My Little Pony

Dislikes- The 4th of July, G.I Joe, Helen Keller

Role Model- Perez Hilton

In 10 years he will- be caught making out with Ben Smith from Politico.

Miss Conservative Of The Week

This weeks Miss Conservative comes to us from Oklahoma. She is currently the Chairman of the OU College Republicans. She helped to organize a tea party that was held on campus April 13th, which was also used to promote the tea party being held in Oklahoma City two days later. This weeks Miss Conservative is Tessa Breder.

you can email your nominee to theconservativecomeback@yahoo.com . Dont have to be famous. Just hot, smart, and conservative

Who is your favorite politician?
This is too easy. Oklahoma State Representative Scott Martin. I met Scott for the first time when I had the opportunity to job shadowed him in high school. Not only is he an incredible person, he’s a true conservative who, despite his much-deserved success, has remained a grassroots activist truly concerned for the well-being of Oklahoma and this country. Scott has brought common sense to the House Floor everyday he has been in office on issues such as limiting government, lowering taxes, and preserving the right to life.

What is the most important issue to you?
Again, too easy. Education, education, education. I had the privilege of attending high-performing public schools in Oklahoma. Unfortunately, Oklahoma’s public school performance is rather low compared to the rest of the country. The voucher system is undoubtedly the cure to the disease of our socialized school system. Not only does this system relieve the outrageous amount of power held by radical teachers unions, it brings the wellbeing of America’s youth back to the forefront of administration’s concern. Is there any other industry in America where performance isn’t measured as a determinate of further employment? Absolutely not. The fact politicians have allowed corrupt teacher pacs to be the ruling force behind America’s education policy for so long is disappointing, unacceptable, and something we can’t afford any longer.

School vouchers merely integrate capitalism and competition into schools. It’s this simple; a school can’t perform, it won’t survive. This structural modification empowers families in place of administrations and it has proven time and again to be tremendously cost effective. As we’ve learned, spending and performance are not correlated. If choice is considered a cornerstone of democracy, America’s children are being repressed by the very people “teaching” them. Fix schools, and, in time, this will do a large part in fixing the future of the economy.

Have you ever thought of running for office?
I’m only twenty, but it’s crossed my mind more times than I care to admit. I first job shadowed when I was sixteen and have been completely enthralled with the political scene ever since. In fact, I was out tonight with a few friends (all of whom are under the age of thirty) discussing the possibility of running for city council in the next election cycle. Politics and intelligence are my primary interests, but I’d prefer to wait until I’m out of school. Unfortunately, if things continue down the same road they’ve been headed lately, I might not be able to restrain myself much longer.


Why are you conservative?
I tried my best to stay away from the cliché “pro Second Amendment, personal responsibility, pro-capitalism, low taxes, and pro-life” spiel, but, well, that’s exactly why I’m conservative. I come from a single, working mother on one side, and a dad who owns a small family business on the other. Both of them taught me from an extremely young age that being independent and working hard is the only way to attain the things that I want.

In addition to this, I still consider the Constitution to be a priority. It’s become extremely evident that many of our elected officials don’t share this value and leave much room for “interpretation”. Government is not meant to serve as a resident nanny to those who choose not to take care of themselves, it’s to protect and facilitate those who are.

To follow Tessa on twitter you can check her out here

Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean

How long before MSNBO scrubs all evidence of this poll?

Granted, this is in no way indicative of being a scientific poll. Maybe Quickdraw can do one of his Special Comments on how these 40% represent the tea-bagging redneck racist un-American portion of the population. Maybe he can say, "You, you 40%, SHUT THE HELL UP AND GO TO HELL. Good night and good luck".

Investigate Povich!!!

Maury Povich just tortured the hell outta that girl on national TV. I know Shep Smith isn't going to take this sitting down. A Truth Squad needs to be set up, and it needs to be set up NOW!!!

I'm not going to watch you bring down this country, Maury Povich. No torture. Not in my name, you bastard

Administration Profile: Eric Holder

With the NFL Draft right around the corner I'm getting a little tired of reading about college players. So The Conservative Comeback will break down the Obama Cabinet right up up until draft time

Name- Eric Holder

Claim to fame- Attorney General

Secret Service name- The Pardon

Likes- Pointing guns at Cuban kids, Kindergarten Cop, pardoning Puerto Rican terrorists, mustaches, Skinemax movies, Easy putty

Dislikes- Apple pie, mothers, Capt Sully Sullenberger

Role Model- Rick James

In 10 years he will- have a gray mustache

Clip Of The Day

After my post earlier bringing up Col. Jessep, I now bring you one of the great movie scenes of all time.



Am I the only that thinks Santiago deserved a code red? I mean, the guy was clearly a sub standard marine. Yeah, it's sad he died, but as Jessep pointed out, it probably saved lives. Anyway, with that, I bring you my top 3 people who could use a code red.
1) Osama Bin Laden (for obvious reasons)
2) Ahmadinejad (again for obvious reasons)
3) Perez Hilton (actually, cross him off the list. He might like it)

CIA Interrogation Methods Worked

WASHINGTON - President Obama’s national intelligence director told colleagues in a private memo last week that the harsh interrogation techniques banned by the White House did produce significant information that helped the nation in its struggle with terrorists.
“High value information came from interrogations in which those methods were used and provided a deeper understanding of the al Qa’ida organization that was attacking this country,” Adm. Dennis C. Blair, the intelligence director, wrote in a memo to his staff last Thursday.

Not much to say over this. It's pretty self explanatory. I'll let Col. Jessup handle this one: "All you did was weaken a country today, Barack. That's all you did."

Vote early, vote often, dead peeps count too!

ACORN. Sigh.

So this may seem like an outdated post. After all, who’s paying attention to these yahoos at this point in the game?

Answer: I am.

Do not underestimate the power of these radical incompetents. They are organized, motivated, and well funded (thank you U.S. taxpayers). (And I will preface by saying, sorry, this will be lengthy. For the ADD impaired, pop your meds now if you plan on reading!)

Background: ACORN holds itself out as a nonpartisan organization designed to garner voter registration and working with the poor. Technically they aren't 501(c ) (3) but their subsidiary Project Vote is. Ultimately these are the same outfit and the legal and political ramification of these two entities working in tandem should be devastating. But we live in a political climate where submitting false voter registrations is right if it is just and giving broshakes to tyrannical dictators is a perfectly acceptable form of salutation, so.....

We’ve all heard the jokes about these people: that they registered the starting lineup of the Dallas Cowboys, that their employees flip through the phonebook to collect fake names for voter registrations, even that some of their temporary workers have exchanged crack cocaine for false voter registrations. And of course those of us that were paying attention know that Uhhbama worked with one of ACORNS subsidiaries, Project Vote. Of course he denied ever being associated with them. I supposed I’d kick their sorry asses to the curb if I were him too.

I’m raising this because there wasn’t a lot of press given to the testimony of Heather Heidelbaugh back on March 19, 2009 to the Judiciary Committee. Heidelbaugh is an attorney that serves on the Executive Committee of the Republican Lawyer’s Association. Heidelbaugh has filed numerous injunctions against ACORN in Pennsylvania for alleged submissions of fraudulent voter registrations. The bulk of her testimony to the Committee was on one individual, Anita Moncrief. Moncrief was a worker from ACORN that later turned whistleblower. Moncrief, for many will not be seen as credible as she was fired from ACORN for impermissible use of a company credit card. I think that the credibility issue is a fair. However, as I read the testimony that Moncrief gave under oath to Ms. Heidelbaugh, what struck me was how much firsthand knowledge she had of ACORN. Furthermore, Moncrief still supports ACORN. She seems to have a functioning brain cell to notice their shenanigans. She went on record to say, "I'm testifying because I want the truth out. Honestly, a lot of people think I have a vendetta, but even after I left ACORN, I was still trying to be involved in the act because I believe the local offices do a lot of good. ...So I don't think ACORN is a bad organization. I feel like they have gotten into areas that was not--that they weren't meant to be. And because we're in these other areas-we're losing focus of what's really wrong with these communities. I don't want ACORN to go away, I just want it to go back to where it's supposed to be." I want to hit some of the highlights of Moncrief's testimony to Heidelbaugh:

• Moncrief had been a confidential informant for several months to a New York Times reporter, Stephanie Strom. Strom had written six articles about ACORN with the help of Moncrief's input from July 9, 2008 to October 21, 2008. Moncrief (who is a Democrat and supporter of Obama) told Strom that the Obama Presidential Campaign sent its donor list to Karen Gillette of the DC ACORN office. They asked Moncrief to reach out to these donors (by law, these were "maxed-out" donors. The Obama camp could no longer solicit them for donations). Upon learning this information, Storm told Moncrief that the editors of the Times wanted her to "kill the story" because it was a "game changer". (shocking!)
  
• Moncrief then points out with specificity the inner workings of ACORN and its subsidiary Project Vote (which is considered a sister organization). Ultimately there's very little difference between these two organizations. Both are considered political organizations with the same goals... being nonpartisan and electing the best candidate of course! Uh huh. To blur the lines even further, several employees worked for both organizations. Basically this entire outfit top to bottom and bottom to top is an epic disaster.


• Moncrief did testify that the entire purpose of the voter registration efforts was to get more members. And of course more members = more money. The more cards you completed, the more money one would receive. After all, why pay someone minimum wage if they turn in three cards for the entire day when you can pay them per card and they can submit the entire Cowboys roster. Sounds like a nice job if you can get it. Especially if you're a felon a several of their employees seem to be (my snark, not hers!)


• Furthermore, despite their repeated lies that there is no quota system, Moncrief calls bullshit on that. She stated on record that if canvassers didn't turn in at least 20 cards per day that canvassers would be fired. Many times these people were fired at the end of the day and never paid for the work they did complete. What a stellar testament to helping out the working poor wouldn't you say?


• She then goes on to describe what can only constitute a clusterfuck of unqualified degenerates running the show--at the national and local level.
  They knew the quality of hires was downright abysmal. Eh, worry about that later I suppose.


• They talked about "quality control". Basically that was the extent of the "quality control" talk. As long as it took me to type this, that was the amount of discussion that was spent on that particular topic.


• Training. Her words, "sink or swim" mentality. They had to sign a piece of paper saying they had read and understood the fraud policies and the ramifications of submitting a fraudulent registration. One follow-up I have on this: how many of these part-timers can actually even understand said ramifications, let alone read? Okay moving on...


• Actually as a follow-up, it seems that Commander-in-Chief Uhhbama learned from these folks about throwing people to the wolves. According to Moncrief, ACORN never took any blame for the failure to train employees who didn't ask the right questions when talking to potential registrants. And when there was actual investigative journalism being done that uncovered some of these false registrations, ACORN had a talking point: "oh that's just an isolated incident and individual. It's a lone individual working outside the scope of his/her employment and that ACORN would prosecute that employee to the fullest extent possible". Sort of like "Oh, that's Joe just being Joe!"


• Keep your lunch down with this next statistic: ACORN knew their canvassers were turning in duplicate registrations. Moncrief stated she knew that they were striving for a 40% accuracy rate. Outstanding.


• Diversion tactics. Moncrief said ACORN was very skilled in diverting attention away from any negative press with fraudulent registration cards or absentee ballots. Workers were told to respond by saying that the real problem was that those raising the complaints in essence really don't want African Americans and other minority groups to vote. They are most skilled at playing the race card.


• Political considerations. ACORN would choose which state Project Vote would push its voter registrations drive. These were only done in battleground states (Ohio, Pennsylvania, Florida, and Colorado) and states that had contested Congressional seats. So I guess poor people only live in those few states?? Hmmm....


• The Muscle for Money Program: There were two programs here: One official-one unofficial. The official program is a marketing entity known as Citizens Services, Inc. (CSI). It’s nothing more than an organization that prices the overall cost to register a voter and drive a voter to the polls. So it’s basically for GOTV. Back in 2008, The Obama Campaign reported in FEC schedules that it had paid $800,000 for “sound and lightening equipment” to CSI. That’s pretty comical considering CSI doesn’t possess any sound and lightening equipment. Moncrief testified that CSI would hire a canvasser to get, say 50 people to the polls. If they couldn’t get them to the polls by bus or other means of transportation, the would make sure they were handed an absentee ballot. I’m thinking that the sound and lighting that Obama said CSI was providing was the strobe lights and amps in the pimp rides and hummers used to get these folks to the polls perhaps? The second part of this “Money for Muscle Program”, the unofficial program was nothing more than a shaming ploy used to corporate officers. ACORN hopped in bed with the SEIU on this plan of attack. They would basically harass CEO’s at their homes and protest corporate functions. It was nothing short of extortion to buy new computers and other ACORN administrative functions. They targeted H&R Block, Sherwin Williams, Jackson Hewitt and Money Mart.

And for those that argue that this group is miniscule and inconsequential, please remove head from sphincter stat! You don't want to get sepsis of the brain!

Just yesterday, Teleprompter Jesus signed into the law the Brown Shirt bill. This in essence will give $5.7 billion in aid to over 250,000 volunteers across the country. Translations: these crackpipes (literaly!) aren't going anywhere anytime soon thanks to That One.

And God help us all if this happens.

Defining Torture

I've heard too many people over the past few years argue about what is torture and what isn't torture. This argument has escalated since Obama released memos that showed exactly what our interrogation methods are. I am now going to define exactly what is and what isn't torture. You're welcome.

If a journalist willingly accepts to go through an interrogation method, this is not torture. Example. I've seen Christopher Hitchens and Steve Harrigan waterboarded. Therefore, waterboarding does not equal torture.

If my 3 year old niece is not scared of an object, it is not torture. Example. She has zero fear of caterpillars. Therefore, caterpillars do not equal torture.

If people pay money to go to concerts which play loud music, it is not torture. Example. People pay money to go to concerts which play loud music. Therefore, loud music does not equal torture.

So what is torture? Anything from the movie Hostel




It's really that simple. There is a huge difference between enhanced interrogation, where people are uncomfortbale, and torture. There isn't one journalist on earth who would volunteer to have their hand cut off by a chainsaw. Therefore, having your hand cut off by a chainsaw equals torture. I didn't see that method in the memos though.

Man Stabbed Over Pop Tarts

ABCNews-Police say a woman stabbed her boyfriend in the chest with a steak knife over Pop Tarts.

Police say she wanted to get a Pop Tart and he said she couldn't have anything. Police say Andrews pushed and hit Colon, and she stabbed him in the chest, causing a severe wound.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Lets everybody take a deep breath and count to 10. Yes, I was the guy who just last week said it was an unwritten rule that if you touch another mans pork and beans and you get stabbed, well, thats life. I'd vote not guilty for that guy every day of the week and twice on Sunday. But, I can't condone this action. A pop tart? I mean, comparing pork and beans to a pop tart is like comparing a DeLorean that can travel thru time with a Pinto.

A pop tart is slightly above a hot pocket when it comes to foods you shouldn't be stabbed over. Aren't they teaching kids anything these days? This list should atleast be introduced to students in the 5th grade. This lady better hope I'm not on that jury. I'd be voting to waterboard her ignorant ass for atleast a month.

Why Didn't Obama Walk Out?

This is a question I have heard discussed on radio and tv a lot recently. It all stems from Obama sitting and listening to Daniel Ortega berade the US for 50 minutes. His only response was that, "he was glad he wasn't the one being blamed for things that happened when he was 3 months old." Charles Krauthammer took him apart for that narcissistic response on FoxNews last night. Mitt Romney wrote a very good article in the National Review on Obamas recent trip.

There is one problem with the question of, Why didn't Obama walk out? Is it really that hard to believe that Obama might actually agree with many of Ortegas statements? Is the rant Ortega went on any more anti American than Rev. Wrights sermons? Is it more radical than Bill Ayers thoughts on America? Not only did Obama not walk out on those people, he sought them out. This is why those two people were central to the campaign. It's why the media and the left did everything they could to portray attacks on Obama using those two people, to be distractions.

Asking Barack Obama to walk out on an anti American rant is like asking Perez Hilton to walk away from a buffet...of men. Both are impossible. The sooner we realize that the better.

Clip Of The Day

Lil' Rahm Emmanuel just got destroyed. Don't even try to tell me that doesn't look like him 20 yrs ago. I'd bet good money that this kid is a ballerina. Never in the history of planet earth has a human being been dominated by a beer bong like this kid. Basically, he is Peter McNeely and the funnel is Mike Tyson.

And whats the deal with the Colts and Chargers fans tailgating together? You can hang out during personal time, but not on business. And tailgating is strictly business. You'd see Bush and Ahmadinejad at a 4th of July cook out before you saw me tailgating with a Colts fan.

h/t barstoolsports

Obama Vs Cheney...Who Ya Got?

There is a big showdown currently taking place in Washington, D.C regarding the top secret CIA memos. Obamas own CIA director, as well as the 4 previous CIA directors advised against the release, stating it would only help the enemy and expose this country. So naturally, Obama released the memos.

Not only did he release the memos, but he suggested that the practices spelled out in them didn't work. In jumps Cheney, who on Sean Hannitys show last night, basically called bullshit. He said not only did they work, but he has seen the memos that show they worked. He has now called on Obama to declassify those memos to give the country the full and accurate picture of what took place.

These are two distinctly different views of what happened. The good thing is only one of them is right. Either the memos say the interrogation methods were successful, or they don't. So who's going to blink first, Obama or Cheney. Either way, we havent seen a game of chicken with this much on the line since the mid 80's.



If the release of these memos somehow comes down to a game of tractor chicken, I've got Cheney in a landslide. Who ya got?

Don't Make Me Do It

This is the last thing in the world I want to do, but you're leaving me no choice. I still don't have a nomination for this weeks Miss Conservative. If I don't get one soon, and I mean real soon, I will post this picture day in and day out. It's in your hands now.









email your nominations to theconservativecomeback@yahoo.com

By the way, how pissed is Sprite with that picture?

The 100 Million Dollar Budget Cut Exposed

So Obama has asked his cabinet to cut 100 million dollars from the budget. Of course, this is nothing compared to how much will be spent in the overall budget. He knows that most in the media will report it as 100 million being cut rather than .0029% which is being cut. Over on Greg Mankiws blog he lays it out very clearly:

To put those numbers in perspective, imagine that the head of a household with annual spending of $100,000 called everyone in the family together to deal with a $34,000 budget shortfall. How much would he or she announce that spending had be cut? By $3 over the course of the year--approximately the cost of one latte at Starbucks. The other $33,997? We can put that on the family credit card and worry about it next year.

Badass of the Week

This weeks badass was a close call. We had two worthy competitors battle it out. In the end, I had step up and make a tough decision. I'm positive I made the right call. Your badass of the week is Carrie Prejean

FoxNews Miss North Carolina Kristen Dalton was crowned Miss USA on Sunday, but the big story to come out of the normally politics-free telecast was Miss California's comments regarding gay marriage.

When asked by judge Perez Hilton, an openly gay gossip blogger, whether she believed in gay marriage, Miss California, Carrie Prejean, said "We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised."

The whole reason for the badass of the week segment is to reward those people who have the guts to stick to what they believe in, even though they know they will be criticized for it. Whether you agree with her or not, this was the definition of being a badass.

Lets look at this from Carries perspective. She's getting a question about gay marriage from a guy that makes Barney Frank seem like he's straight as an arrow. She knows if she gives the answer she believes in that it will most likely cost her his vote. The easy thing would've been to lie and say the politically correct thing, that she is all for gay marriage. Instead she stuck to her guns, and now rather than being Miss USA she is the much more prestigious badass of the week.

Keith Lewis, who runs the Miss California competition, tells FOXNews.com that he was "saddened" by Prejean's statement.

"As co-director of the Miss California USA, I am personally saddened and hurt that Miss California believes marriage rights belong only to a man and a woman," said Lewis in a statement. "I believe all religions should be able to ordain what unions they see fit. I do not believe our government should be able to discriminate against anyone and religious beliefs have no politics in the Miss California family."

Keith needs to calm down here. He acts like she took the place hostage Somali pirate style, and started preaching about the sins of gay marriage. She was asked a question about her thoughts on the subject. She gave her opinion, and that has no place in the Miss California family? Once again we see the open mindedness and tolerance that the left believes in.

By the way the runner up for badass of the week is Madonnas horse. Everytime she gets tossed from that animal, I throw a party.

Happy Patriots Day

Patriots Day in Massachusetts is a holiday commemorating the anniversary of the Battles of Lexington and Concord. It is also the day that the Boston Marathon is run. But if you live around here, you know this day is known for yet another excuse to get drunk on a Monday.


Bets of the day

a Kenyan wins the marathon

over under on fights in Faneuil Hall by 7pm- 40 ( I'm taking the over)

Reason # 73 why I have no interest in running the Boston Marathon. (Dont scroll down if you're eating)

I have a couple rules in life. One of them is to never put myself in a position to end up shitting myself in front of thousands of people. Therefore, no marathon for me.

Quotations and Deconstruction

I find it highly intriguing that our liberal friends never seem able to muster a well applied quotation from a founding father. Our great country is founded primaily on the insight and wisdom of these Godly men; why then are they incapable of reinforcing leftist political idealogies using the canonical principles pontificated in their speeches and writings?
They will occasionally distort and decontextiualize a proverb concerning liberty to justify a degenerate moral practice they seek to ratify. These ”socially tolerant” and “progressive” cries for personal freedom under the questionable interpretation of the 9th amendment (Right to Privacy interpretation) are clearly not the freedoms spoken of so pervasively throughout the document. Take note:

A general dissolution of principles and manners will more surely overthrow the
liberties of America than the whole force of the common enemy. While the people
are virtuous they cannot be subdued; but when once they lose their virtue then
will be ready to surrender their liberties to the first external or internal
invader.
Samuel Adams, letter to James Warren, February 12, 1779

Ortega Bitch Slaps America...Obama Takes Notes

FOXNEWS PORT-OF-SPAIN, Trinidad and Tobago -- President Obama endured a 50-minute diatribe from socialist Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega that lashed out at a century of what he called terroristic U.S. aggression in Central America and included a rambling denunciation of the U.S.-imposed isolation of Cuba's Communist government.

Obama sat mostly unmoved during the speech but at times jotted notes.

Later, at a photo opportunity with Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Obama held his tongue when asked what he thought about Ortega's speech.

"It was 50 minutes long. That's what I thought."

A lot of you might think I'm crazy, but I actually feel bad for Obama having to sit through this. How boring must it be for a guy to sit and listen to the same speech he has heard over and over again for 20 years in Rev Wrights church. That's not even to mention the same things he heard from Billy Ayers time and time again. Maybe if he had nothing else to do he would've enjoyed this speech. But, when you've got to meet up with your new bff Hugo Chavez, this shit gets old.

Somebody needs to tell Ortega that he doesn't need to convince the American President. Didn't he follow the election? He's preaching to the choir. Let Barack enjoy his Friday night.

And lets not make a big deal about the note taking. I'm sure it was just some good lines he might use for his next book title. Leave Barack alone!

Open Thread Friday

Deval being called worse than Dukakis. One Axelrod guy down, one to go.

I really like Bobby Jindal. But he might want to read this before he starts taking Obamas side over Cheneys.

Bill Kristol asks the the question, Are we still at war?

I dont care that he has an (R) next to his name, no conservative should vote for this guy.

Surprise! Maybe we should have a talk.



Is this Mels new girl?

FoxNews Teabags The Competition

Am I as cool as Anderson Cooper and David Gergen now that I made a teabag joke? I hope so, because nothing says cool like David Gergen. That guy gets more ass than James Dean in his prime.

Numbers from Drudge

FOXNEWS O'REILLY 3,980,000
FOXNEWS HANNITY 3,239,000
FOXNEWS GRETA 2,947,000
FOXNEWS BECK 2,740,000
FOXNEWS BAIER 2,401,000
FOXNEWS SHEP 2,185,000
COMEDY DAILY SHOW 1,777,000
MSNBC OLBERMANN 1,499,000
COMEDY COLBERT 1,446,000
CNNHN GRACE 1,336,000
CNN KING 1,292,000
MSNBC MADDOW 1,149,000
CNN COOPER 1,021,000

Stop the fight!!! There hasn't been this big a mismatch since Apollo Creed took on Drago. Throw in the towel before MSNBC and CNN get seriously hurt.

Clip Of The Day

For everyone that got an extension on their taxes, Shelly Winters has some helpful hints in this PSA.



What the fuck was that? That goes from a fairly normal commercial to one of the freakiest things I've ever seen in the blink of an eye. I mean, I dont know about you but I jumped back from my screen and locked the doors. It's like she was trying to lull me to sleep at the beginning and then hypnotize me real quick at the end. Nice try Shelly Winters, but I'm on to your tricks.

h/t Franklin avenue

Man Stabs Brother Over Pork And Beans

GILLIAM, La. (AP) -- A sheriff's deputy said a 54-year-old man stabbed his 63-year-old brother during an argument in their kitchen over a can of pork and beans. Sheriff's spokeswoman Cindy Chadwick said the suspect was booked

Tuesday on one count of aggravated battery.

Chadwick said the brother was treated at a medical center for stab wounds in his left arm and shoulder blade.

Listen, I don't want to say that any person deserves to be stabbed, but lets talk facts here. Isn't it an unwritten rule that you never fuck with another mans beans and franks? This is like laying down a bunt in the 9th inning when the pitcher has a no hitter. Sure it's not in any rule book, but you know you're running the risk of getting nailed in the head the next time you step to the plate. So lets not act like the older brother didn't know exactly what he was getting himself into. He took a calculated risk and he paid the price. Fact of the matter is, this guy should thanks his lucky stars that he's not 6 feet under. He's got a second chance at life and he'd be wise to tell the youth of this country his story so they don't make the same mistake.

Hey Susan, go back to your home on Whore Island you smelly pirate hooker!

Susan Roesgen.

Can I say "thank you" sweetness? Thank you for exposing yourself as a total hack "reporter". Thank you for reminding us why it was we coined CNN as the Communist News Network. But ultimately, thank you for giving us all the best laugh of the week.

Anderson Cooper on CNN 4/14: "It's hard to talk when you're tea-bagging"

Susan Roesgen on CNN 4/15: "I don't think this (Chicago tea party) is really family viewing."

Look, Susan made a funny!

This woman showed such contempt, contempt I say, when a tea partygoer carried a sign saying "Obama is a Socialist". She asked the gentleman, "Why be so hard on the President of the United States with such an offensive message?" and "Do you realize how offensive that is?" It's interesting to note, that she didn't find this offensive when she was covering Katrina.

So let's recap: We have one man stating which is pretty much a known fact: That Uhhbama is a socialist. That's highly offensive. But we have a manmade float comparing Bush to a Hitler/Devil and that doesn't even garner a "Hmm, that's a provocative float" remark?

In what fantasy land does this bitch reside? Whore Island? Me thinks so.

Dateline: To Catch A Predator

The Samson Obama story. If Chris Hansen were Tyra Banks

I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC. Why dont you have a seat right over there, Samson.

Did your brother have any idea at all that you sexually assault 13 year old girls?

Samson- Yes, of course.

Chris Hansen- Really?!?

Samson- Why, yes I think

Chris Hansen- You think or you know?

Samson- Well most Presidents are pretty smart

(laughter from audience)

That Samsons a character, although I don't think he has assaulted any teens this week, which is a good start. Like Bob Wiley says, "baby steps."

Miss Conservative Of The Week

This weeks Miss Conservative comes to you by way of Colorado. She is a mother of 3 boys who is a card carrying member of the NRA. Your new Miss Conservative of the Week is Stacy.

you can email your nominee to theconservativecomeback@yahoo.com . Dont have to be famous. Just hot, smart, and conservative

Who is your favorite politician?

Actually, Colorado's ex-governor, Bill Owens. Governor Owens had an ability to work with both sides, and made common sense decisions for Colorado. His time in office was prosperous for our state. When he took office, he continued with Governor Roy Romer's (a Democrat) education plan, a plan that closely monitored schools and forced accountability upon them. Owens initiated the successful T-REX project on I-25 that came in on time and under budget. How often does that happen? He often would upset both the left and the right; that tells me you're doing your job right.

What is the most important issue to you?

At this time it is obviously the economy combined with the out of control spending we are witnessing. We have made major fiscal, changes within our own household in order to survive this period of time. Our politicians need to be doing the same thing. I believe there will be many people who will be losing their jobs come November of 2010.

Have you ever thought of running for office?

Yes and no. I think many of us sit back and armchair quarterback political offices. But my fiery spirit and lack of patience wouldn't work even in the PTA. I have no desire to deal with people who cannot practice common sense.

Why are you a conservative?

Our nation was founded upon conservative principles, individuals looking for freedom from oppressive rulers. Rulers that unfairly taxed, and changed the rules to meet their own agendas. Sound familiar? Conservatism is basic, common sense. Work hard, be rewarded by the fruits of your own labor.

My husband and I did not have an easy path for several years early in our marriage. We qualified for government assistance, but never took it because we were too proud to be dependent upon anyone other than ourselves. After years of hard work, we are successfully self-employed, and dealing with the headaches that come from that. Being self-employed has brought us many life lessons, lessons that actually make both of us more fiscally conservative.

To check out more of Stacy you can follow her on twitter here and read her blog StillStacy.

What Do The Counter Protesters Want???

The past few days I've been trying to figure out what exactly the counter protesters to the tea party want. Not only that, but why the derision from MSNBC and CNN over this issue? This shouldn't be a Republican vs Democrat issue. Most people I know think the government is spending way to much money and not even spending it effectively. That's the whole point of the protest. So the counter protest would be that they think the the government should be spending more money ineffectively? I couldn't understand it. So I put on my investigative hat and got to the bottom of this.

Like most things in life, the answer to this question can be found in Animal House. It's pretty obvious that all of the counter protesters are like Chip. They enjoy having their ass paddled by the government.

Kevin Bacon - Fraternity Paddle @ Yahoo! Video

This brings us to the age old question. Are you born wanting to take it up the ass from the government or do you choose that? I dont know, I'm not a scientist. It's one of the great unanswered questions of our time, right along with, What's the meaning of life?, Why is the sky blue? and Did Bender actually have to go to detention for the next 5 Saturdays in The Breakfast Club?

David Shuster Loves Ball Sacks

That really is the only way to describe David Shusters infatuation with getting "tea bagged."



Listen, anyway who went to high school knows the classic symptoms of what just went down in that clip. The more you talk about something, the more it's obvious you want it. Who didn't have a friend that kept bringing up the same girl over and over again, until you finally called him on it and said, just ask her for her number. Well Shuster is that friend, but the girl is a hairy ball sack. To each his own I guess. But there is a time and place for everything David. I dont know if broadcasting your love of nugget pouches on national TV is appropriate. This guys obvious affection with man sack would've made Harvey Milk blush. Clean it up Shuster.

FML Showdown

Whos life sucks more?

1)Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

vs

2)Today, I was talking to a guy I met online and have known for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him twice, one of those times being currently. He was supposed to visit this summer. I got an email from him saying he's really a 17 year old girl from Chesterfield, MO. FML.

Vote 1 or 2. I don't want to taint the jury, but #2s life has to suck pretty bad right now.

Napolitano As Ass Backwards As It Gets

WASHINGTON – A newly unclassified Department of Homeland Security report warns against the possibility of violence by unnamed "right-wing extremists" concerned about illegal immigration, increasing federal power, restrictions on firearms, abortion and the loss of U.S. sovereignty and singles out returning war veterans as particular threats.

Napolitano has it a little backwards here. Maybe instead of monitoring the people who put their life on the line defending this country, she should monitor those who have bombed (excuse me) been responsible for man caused disasters on this country. I don't know, maybe people like this guy. If she has any questions she can ask her boss all about him.

Clip of the Day

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Now that is how you train a kid. No mercy. This girl is a 6 year old badass. Guaranteed with another year of work this girl will be taking out Somali pirates with ping pongs like it was her job. And she won't wait 5 days to do it.

Badass Of The Week

Easiest choice so far. How much would you pay to see the video of pirates getting sniped? They should show at movie theaters this weekend. I'd be there all day.

Stop Underestimating The Military

Now that Navy SEALS have moved in to rescue the American Captain and kill 3 pirates, I think it's time for liberals to stop underestimating the military. Over the past few days as a group of 4 pirates held this country hostage, I and others have been calling for the military to act. I read message boards over at the Boston Herald that said we needed to stop watching movies. I listened to callers on talk radio saying those asking for the military to make a rescue are naive. Even liberal columnists who didn't want to Obama to look weak on this issue said the same thing. We should negotiate. This would have you believe that only Navy Seals in the movies make rescues, and not, ya know, actual Navy SEALS. We have the most highly trained military fighters in the world going up against 4 fucking pirates in a boat. The result was obvious. 3 dead pirates, 1 captured, 1 hostage freed. It's not a movie, although it will probably be made into one. The message is clear from here on out. Enough negotiating with Somali "elders." Let the military do what they do.

There have now been reports that Obama finally gave the order for force to be used. It was about time, and for that I give him credit for listening to the military that has been calling for days for this to happen. There's a reason movies are made showing special forces making such rescues. It's because they can actually do it.

Now, the big question left from this is: What is to be done with Somalia? Do we see this as an isolated incident or part of bigger problem? It would be very naive to walk away from this without a larger strategy of how to deal with Somalia. This is not the last we will here from this country.

Clip Of The Day

Reason #327 why I don't give a shit what happens to polar bears. They will eat you



Polar bears are in the same category as hippos for me. Both are animals that I completely misjudged as a kid. Polar bears had the Coke commercials that made them look adorable. Then hippos had one of the great games of all time, Hungry Hungry hippos. I loved these guys. Turns out both these assholes eat people like it's going outta style. So sorry if I'm not crying over melting ice caps. I will never try to save an animal that can turn around the next day and eat me. Those bastards are just gonna have to learn how to swim longer.

The Barack Obama Scholarship

The other day we brought you Barack Obamas rejection letter from Arizona State. Due to the controversy from not awarding Obama an honorary degree, the University has set up a group of scholarship students known as "President Barack Obama Scholars." This blog has obtained the application for that group.

1) Describe your favorite state (you may choose any of the 57)

2) How many teleprompters will you be keeping on campus? (minimum 4)

3) If an ASU student is taken hostage by pirates, you will:

A) Talk about the housing situation on campus
B) Buy a new dog
C) Order a pizza from 800 miles away
D) All of the above

4) Do you currently have an Aunt living illegally in an ASU dorm room?

5) After your first semester at ASU, will you promise to have increased our deficit by 1 trillion dollars?

6) How many "former" terrorists have you associated yourself with? ( 1 required, 3 preferred)

7) How many times will you apologize to the University of Arizona for beating them twice in basketball this past season? (minimum 4, prefereably with tears)

8) List your accomplishments in life (hint- if these accomplishments exceed one tweet on twitter, you are disqualified)

We will be releasing the names of the applicants to the media. Whoever receives the most adoring press coverage will be awarded this prestigious scholarship. Thank you for applying.

Arizona State

Sunday Morning Reading

Howie Carr has an idea for all the liberals in Massachusetts. This Wednesday pay the voluntary higher rate.

GatewayPundit says are reaction the hostage situation is deja vu all over again.

Margaret Thatcher is "appalled" by Gordon Browns spending.

Vodkapundit pinpoints why we have piracy

Mark Steyn writes about that whole pirate distraction thing.

You can now get beer delivered to your home in Massachusetts. Just sayin

COED magazines, Girls of The Masters

Are Americans Really Being Held Captive?

Abe Greenwald over at Commentary Magazine calls out Obama for his silence, not just on the Somali pirate issue but American journalists currently being held captive in North Korea and Iran.

Four Americans are now being held captive by foreign governments or non-state actors: two journalists in North Korea, one journalist in Iran, and one ship captain off the coast of Somalia.

Has anyone heard from the president about these incidents?

In regard to North Korea and Iran, Barack Obama is too dug-in to a capitulationist stance to make a peep. While free and safe journalists praise Obama for “listening” to autocrats and fanatics, their less fortunate colleagues have been listening in vain for a word from the American president. Tragic as that is, it does at least free up Obama to speak forcefully about the Somali pirates now holding the brave and selfless Capt. Richard Phillips. After all, we can’t possibly have an interest in engaging these stateless thugs. So what message has Obama sent?

You should check the rest of the story out. Sure these are delicate situations but it demands some sort of reaction by the President of the United States. I know he's busy trying to flying in people from St. Louis to make him his pizza, but they should clear some time in the Presidents schedule to comment on these issues right?

UPDATE- Pirates have seized a US owned tugboat and now holding 16 hostage.

Patches McPoopyPants

God bless Al Gore for creating the Internet. For without his noble work we would not have this gem from the Exurban Link. It's an early transcript of the Dipshit-in-Chiefs "remarks". And speaking of early transcripts, who saw this story? Don't you feel comforted by knowing the fuck-up brigade is running full steam ahead at 1600 Penn? I know I do.

Since the pirates are still holding the captain, I have sent FBI
negotiators to facilitate his safe and speedy release. I assure his friends and
family that I will not stop until this man-made disaster is resolved in a
peaceful, tolerant and ecologically-sound manner.

Obviously, this incident has raised many concerns among Americans. There have been calls for justice and even violence against the misguided perpetrators. But such an emotional reaction has led to the disparagement of entire groups with which we are unfamiliar. We have seen this throughout history.

For too long, America has been too dismissive of the proud culture and invaluable contributions of the Pirate Community. Whether
it is their pioneering work with prosthetics, husbandry of tropical birds or
fanciful fashion sense, America owes a deep debt to Pirates.

The past eight years have shown a failure to appreciate the historic role of these noble seafarers. Instead of celebrating their entreprenuerial spirit and seeking to
partner with them to meet common challenges, there have been times where America has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive.

Some of us wonder if our current Overseas Contingency Operation would even be needed had the last
administration not been so quick to label Pirates as "thieves," "terrorists" and
worse. Such swashbucklaphobia can lead to tragic results, as we have seen this
week.

I don't know who Jon is but he certainly is a treasure trove. Argh. Do you guys have any good plans for the weekend? (a) Easter (b) Masters (c) tax filings (d) tea parties (e) all of the above (f) take your multiple choice test and suck it, Sister. Just got paid...Friday night...!

BREAKING NEWS

The Conservative Comeback has just obtained footage of the devasting fallout that could result from the unthinkable happening. For the past few months top government agencies have been running risk assessments on what would likely happen if Baracks teleprompter malfunctions. It's not pretty.

Clip Of The Day 2

h/t to Lauren

Rules For Having To Apologize

Growing up a sports fan in the Boston area I have read a lot of columns by Bill Simmons over the years. One column that I can distinctly remember deals with rules that a sports fan must follow. One rule stands out among these:

12. After your team wins a championship, they immediately get a five-year grace period: You can't complain about anything that happens with your team (trades, draft picks, salary-cap cuts, coaching moves) for five years. There are no exceptions. For instance, the Pats could finish 0-80 over the next five years and I wouldn't say a peep. That's just the way it is. You win the Super Bowl, you go on cruise control for five years. Everything else is gravy.

The reason I bring this rule up now is due to the fact that Barack Obama went on an apologizing tour all over Europe last week. He felt the United States has been too arrogant and too dismissive. The White House felt that this might quell the anti American sentiment that is felt by some in Europe. Well they are violating a new rule that is now being laid down.

Rule 1- For every soldier that a country loses in defense of your country, that country gets a 1 year grace period from all bitching and moaning.

Most stats put US deaths during WWII at around 400,000. This means that France, Great Britian, and most of Europe have to shut the hell up for the next 400,000 years. If you don't want to help us in our wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, fine. But don't start whining because you feel you weren't consulted enough. Just be grateful Bush didn't clothesline Jacque Chirac and then make out with his wife.

The only thing more embarrassing than a whining continent that this country freed, is a President who feels he has to apologize to those bitches.

There is one way to get out of this rule. The next time your country is threatened or attacked, deal with it yourself. We all know you want. A 4 crew team of Somali pirates could topple France. So just do us a favor and keep it down for the next couple hundred milleniums. Oh, and Obama...man up.

Clip Of The Day

Cyberstalking? Please. I-Team 10 needs to get over itself. This lady is obviously a pillar of the community. I mean she clearly runs the most successful costume store in all of Cranston, RI. I know I'm not supposed to make judgements until I get all the facts, but I say not guilty on all charges!